A Ride To The Trail

Fall and spring are the best times of year for backpacking.  It’s not hot.  The bugs are minimal.  The nights are good for sleeping.  I get out into the woods when I can.  Schedules fill up, and life happens, so the result is, I don’t get out as much as I would like.  Whenever I do get the chance to go, one of the hardest things to arrange is a ride to wherever my friends and I are getting on the trail.

About ten years ago I organized a weekend trip up near the Delaware Water Gap in northeast Pennsylvania.  I invited two of my wife’s cousins and good buddy of mine from high school, who lived up in that area.  I didn’t arrange a ride to the trailhead in advance, but being an eternal optimist, I figured we’d work something out.  We all got together on the day of the trip and started calling people we knew in the area to see if they’d give us a ride.  It took about an hour, but we found and acquaintance of a friend who was willing.  I will avoid using names to protect the guilty.

He pulled up in an older model car with his dog, and we all piled in.  My buddy sat in the back with my wife’s two cousins, and I sat in the front with a medium sized dog on my lap.  My buddy knew who this guy was so the small talk started.

“Which dog is this?”

“This is Bear, Booger died.  He got hit by a car.”

“Oh,,,,,, that’s too bad.”

So, apparently it was Bear sitting on my lap.  I felt like asking Bear why my leg was getting wet, but I didn’t want to be rude.  I was sitting in his seat.

“You guys should probably put on your seat belts.  I don’t exactly have a valid driver’s license.  Once we get to Pennsy we should be alright, but these Jersey cops are @$#%$!.”

I looked in the backseat to find everyone buckling up.  Everyone was also smiling.  I was trying not to smile, but probably not doing a great job.  There we were, buckled up, obeying all traffic laws, and in general, trying not to look pull overable.  Meanwhile, I was disturbed by my wet leg.  Thanks, Bear.

Some people may say, “You should have found someone else to give you a ride.”  To that I say, “Why?  So we could all make polite small talk about the weather and be delivered safely to our trailhead?”  I maintain that his ride was far more entertaining.  Instead of talking about the weather, we got to hear our driver’s explanation of why the New Jersey cops were @$#%$!.  We also had the added excitement of knowing that if we were pulled over, our driver would likely be arrested.

The forty five minute trip went by uneventfully.  He dropped us off, we got on the trail, and we talked and laughed about our ride for first mile or two.

UPDATE:  While our driver did not end up going to jail on that particular day, he did eventually spend some time as a guest of the Feds.  The government will let you get away with a lot of things, but when you take part in a bank robbery, they feel like you might need some timeout.  Don’t worry about our driver.  He was released recently, which is good news, because that means he’s available to give us a ride next time we go hiking.