Ever have one of those weeks? Let me tell you about mine.
- It started with a dream. Sunday morning: There are people in my house. People who don’t belong there. Dangerous people. I decide to do a room to room search for these nefarious people. I look everywhere and finally come to the garage. I slowly open the garage door,,,,,,,, and see two people leaving the garage through another door. And I start yelling. It turns out that I was actually yelling with my mouth closed. I woke myself up. My wife was laughing at me. She said, “You know how the dog barks when he’s dreaming? That’s what you just did.” It was an omen.
- My youngest son came down with a fever on Sunday evening. He ended up being out of school for FOUR days. On the bright side, we did get lollipops at the doctor’s office. I kind of resent their one lollipop per patient policy, which is why I told them that my particular HMO required a minimum of five Dum Dums per visit.
- Then my wife got sick. Our house was starting to look like a Civil War field hospital. People were moaning and asking for water. There were cots in the hallway. Tents were set up in the yard. Amputations were being performed in the shed. I am only exaggerating slightly. I did some internet research and was able to diagnose both of them. I was 95% sure that my youngest had yellow fever. I was 85% sure that my wife had a common cold, but was acting like she had the measles. I treated them aggressively with chicken noodle soup and then put on headphones to block out the continued moaning.
- And then,,, it snowed again. Granted, it wasn’t much snow. An inch or maybe a little more. It was enough to be depressing.
- By the time Saturday came, we were all ready for some down time. We went to visit family to relax and make each other laugh. It was after eleven when we got back home. Both kids were asleep in the backseat. I woke up the little guy and opened the door for my oldest. After unlocking the house, I returned to the car to witness an event of extreme awkwardness. My wife was standing by the rear door of the car while my ten year old struggled with his seatbelt like it was a giant anaconda intent on suffocating him. He was only half awake and he couldn’t figure out why it was so difficult to get out of the car. My wife- “Undo the buckle.” My son- “WHAT BUCKLE?” Me- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Eventually he woke up enough to figure out why the seat belt was attacking him. He defeated it and and we all went inside. It was the perfect ending to this week.
Onward. IT’S GOING TO BE SEVENTY ON WEDNESDAY. My prayers are being heard.
LINKS
- A scuba diver who was looking for lobster got sucked into a cooling pipe for a nuclear reactor.
- A high school basketball player hit a full court shot at the end of the game to force overtime.
- A skyscraper in LA is putting in a glass slide on the 70th floor.
- I just finished watching the Tsunami Caught on Camera series of videos on Youtube. It is heartbreaking and breathtaking at the same time. So, the trailer for The Wave really caught my interest.
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