Did you know that tickets to most of the late night shows on tv are free? Letterman, Leno, well I guess not Leno anymore, Conan, and all the new guys. I figured this out when I was in college. Free things were very important to me in college. I developed a certain radar. Free breakfast, I’m there, perfect stranger invites me over for lunch on a Saturday afternoon, sounds great. My appreciation of free things extended to entertainment.
Somewhere around the turn of the century, my buddy and I got tickets to see Letterman in New York. Saying things like the turn of the century sounds cool, and also makes me seem old and wise when I’m not really either of those things. Okay, maybe a little old. The guests for that episode were Charles Grodin and Edward Burns. Not really the most star studded line up. What I want to focus on, though, is the musical guest. They were a three man alternative band. Their hit song was about hanky panky and sugary snacks. That should be enough of a clue for some people. For the rest, it’s really not all that important. That was their only hit.
We arrived early to the studio to get our tickets. The Ed Sullivan theater is on Broadway in New York between 53rd and 54th Streets. If you walk around the side of the building, the stage entrance and exits are right there. On this day, the other thing that was right there was the tour bus for the musical guest. It was early so the band was still on the bus. We could see people through the open windows. My buddy was the talkative type, and I was the easily entertained type. He got the attention of someone inside, and asked a couple of questions. Instead of answering the questions, out through the open window came a blowup doll. The adult kind. The guy in the bus held on to the doll and started telling my buddy to bark like a dog. My friend proceeded to tell him in impolite terms where he could go. This cracked me up to no end. Not the doll part, but the part where my friend advised the guy what he could do with the rest of his morning. I looked to my right and saw a stage hand from the Letterman show standing by the side entrance and laughing. This was going nowhere, so we spent the next four hours wandering Manhattan and looking for a soda called cola champagne. For some reason my buddy wanted one, and me, well I’m easily entertained. We came back for the show. After it was over we exited back onto that side street. The tour bus was still there. Together we decided to wait for the band to come out of the building. We had some critiques of their music to offer. We waited and waited. I didn’t have any problem waiting for a while. Waiting was free, and there would be good entertainment value in the confrontation. Eventually we gave up on them, though. I think we may have been hungry. I like to think that we looked super intimidating, so they chose to stay inside the theater and play with their doll.
If I ever see them on the street,,,,,,, absolutely nothing will happen,,,,, because, you know,,,,,, one hit,,,,,, I’ll have no idea who they are.
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