The 5 Best Things About Back To School Time

Everyone is now back into the school groove.  My youngest saw his preschool teacher in the hall during his first week back and said, “Can you believe I made it to first grade.”  He’s his father’s son.  I walk around thinking, “Can you believe people trust me with adult responsibilities?”

I’m glad the kids are back in school now.  Since the internet loves lists, here are the five best things about back to school time.

1. I may have mentioned several sentences ago that I’m shocked when people trust me with adult responsibilities.  This year my wife entrusted me with the back to school shopping list.  I have to be honest, I kind of liked it.  It was like a scavenger hunt.  Pencils, erasers, glue sticks, steno pads.  I printed some coupons, checked my Cartwheel app, and took the kids to Target.  “Can we get a toy dad?”  “No kids we are on a mission.”  I do think teachers always put one item on the list just to screw with you though.  They’ll get really specific sometimes.  Like. “Please bring in one box of crayons that contains no more than 15 and no less than 13 crayons.  And please ensure that one of those colors is magenta.”
2. Now that there is no one around during the day to tell me they are hungry every half hour I am getting an amazing amount of work done.
3. School is a much more structured environment.  The kids need that.  If I was a drill sergeant and our house was some kind of military school, it would go something like this.  “Privates, stand at attention, or continue lounging.  It’s your call.  Now that I have your partial attention, here is the schedule for tomorrow.  We will wake between 0700 and 0830,  upon which time we will make Eggo waffle and Nutella sandwiches.  Then we will put on our least wrinkled shorts and t-shirts.  At some point between 0930 and 1030 we will decide what we are doing for the day and then we will go do that, completely forgetting that we have not planned for lunch.”
4. Since every night is a school night, the kids now have to go to bed early.  This gives me plenty of time to binge watch shows on Netflix.  This can be a bad thing though.  Case in point.  I just watched a British show about a serial killer.  It starred Gillian Anderson (Scully from the X-Files).  That ruined the show for me.  The whole time I was wondering  why Scully had a bad British accent and where the aliens were.  To make matters worse, the serial killer was played by the guy from 50 Shades of Grey.  Not only was he mediocre, now I can never watch 50 Shades because the whole time I’ll be thinking, “DON’T LET HIM TIE YOU UP,,,,,,  HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU!”
5. I like picking the kids up from school.  I pull up in the car line, the principal and I talk some baseball while I wait, and then my boys come walking out the door.  My big guy holds my little guy’s hand until they get to the passenger door of the car.  I know they make them do this for safety, but it’s still a great image, and he’d probably do it anyway because he’s a good big brother.