Including all of the time that my wife and I dated before we got married, we have been together for twenty two years. That makes 22 birthdays, 22 Christmases, 15 anniversaries, and after kids come along, you have to throw Mother’s Days in there as well. Not to mention all of the odd graduations and other occasions where a congratulatory gift is in order. (Before you say, “What about Valentine’s Day?” I mentioned our mutual disdain for that faux holiday in a previous post.) If you add all of those days up it comes to somewhere around seventy to eighty times where I’ve had to procrastinate and then be very stressed for several days about what gift to buy. That’s a lot of knowledge gained. Now I would like to share some of that knowledge with the general public.
1. Never ever buy sports related items for your lovely lady. Yes, she may have accompanied you to a few sporting events where she enthusiastically cheered on your favorite team. But,,,,, she did that because she loves you, not your team. One year when I was dating my future wife, I bought her a football jersey for her birthday. My wife doesn’t remember certain vacations that she has been on, but she remembers receiving that gift with amazing clarity. If she ever gets alzheimer’s and remembers nothing else, I picture her turning to me every day and saying one thing. “I can’t believe you bought me a football jersey.” I haven’t mentioned the worst part of this yet. Okay. Here goes,,,,,,,,,……….. I included a collectible tin can of football cards along with the jersey. I know. It was bad.
2. Pay attention to cues. Women like to give hints about things that they want. To guys this kind of thing is confusing and these cues often go unnoticed because honestly, we’re busy thinking about that football team that our wives or girlfriends are now beginning to hate. Like a serial killer that wants to be caught, your significant other has been leaving clues for months about what she wants for her birthday and Christmas. Turn this into a game. Think of yourself as a detective who must decipher these clues in order to save his own life. In all actuality, your life may be in danger if you get her a football jersey.
3. Jewelry and perfume are usually winners, but you still have to adhere to rule two. Jewelry does not make a good gift if it is the wrong kind of jewelry. For example if I bought my wife a necklace that included anything in the shape of hearts or flowers, she might change the locks on the house. Know what she likes. Know what she already has. Know what you think looks good on her. Also, know your budget. It’s never good to buy her a gift that says, “I Love You So Much, That I Have Endangered Our Financial Future.”
By using these few rules, I have gotten much better at not getting teased when giving my wife gifts. In fact. This year after Christmas, she told me that I am now her “Official Jewelry Buyer”. I was super excited about this until she told me that, NO, the title did not include a badge or any other kind of important looking I.D.
Epilogue: Before my wife launches into another diatribe about that jersey, I’d just like to mention the first gift that she got for me when we were dating. Two CD’s. The first one – Tom Petty. The second – Boys II Men. This was the first time I had owned music by either of these artists. I’m going to guess at her thought processes. “Hmmm, what music do I buy a high school aged white guy? Ooooh, there’s a CD with a white guy with long hair. He’ll probably like that. And you know what, he definitely lacks both rhythm and blues,,, and style, soooooo, okay Boys II Men. Done.” She should have just bought me a football jersey.
Cherish says
I’m going to add my own tip. . . You know pretty much every woman has a pinterest account, right?! Ask her what it is or find it and use that to draw inspiration! I’m being dead serious! When I don’t have money to buy something but I want it, I’ll put it on a wishlist board (LOL!)
Also, don’t be afraid to get to know her. I mean, my bf and I have been together for three years so he knows what I like. Like he knows I hate Japanese Cherry Blossom and silver. He knows I could probably spend a whole paycheck in Sephora or Bath and Body works and although we prefer different fragrances, he could probably find stuff that I’d be like, “Oh My Gosh!” over! It’s great to ask about her interests, notice little things in her apartment or whatever and keep a mental checklist – at least that’s what I do for my boyfriend.
Marc says
Absolutely. I really could have used some Pinterest and Amazon wish lists when I was growing up.
Sandy KS says
Easy way I found was creating aboard on Pinterest for only my boyfriend and i to view. We both place things we would want as gifts through out the year. That way the other can choose something and it will be a win win.
Marc says
Pinterest seems to work really well for this. Wish lists seem to have taken some of the thought out of gifting though.