LONGWALKABOUT

This is my 100th blog post.  It isn’t more special than any of the others.  They’re all special.  Some are special in a “that’s actually pretty good” way.  Some are special in a “well isn’t that special” kind of way.  I recommend reading the whole thing from the beginning.  Just a warning.  We are nearing an estimated 50,000 individual words now, a lot of which are four letters long or longer.  So, before you sit down to this massive undertaking, you might want to get a snack and a cup of coffee.

I don’t always remember my dreams.  But last night I had a great one.  By great, I mean confusing, entertaining, and slightly disturbing.

I’m on my way to my in-laws house.  For some reason, my wife and kids are already there.  When I arrive, I perform a dangerous driving maneuver cutting at least one person off while turning into the neighborhood.  My mother-in-law sees this and lets me know that it was a bad thing to do.  I feel that I must explain why I cut off one of her neighbors.  For some reason, I decide that I could best explain this to her on a car ride.  So, we take a car ride, and I defend my driving maneuver with excuses that even sound bad to me.  While on this ride, I notice a house by the side of the road that is in a giant shopping basket.  Of course, there are cutouts in the basket where the doors are so that you can get in and out of the house easily.  Hmmm.

We’re back at the in-laws house.  The weather looks bad.  I turn around and see a tornado moving quickly downwind.  I need to warn my wife and kids.  Luckily, they are already in a storm shelter in the middle of a field.  It’s a pretty big underground shelter and I’m relieved to see that there are two entrances.  No one wants to get stuck in a storm shelter that doesn’t have a back door.  Outside there are at least five tornadoes visible from the field.  I go to shut and lock the door, but another guy forces his way in.  He’s armed.  I don’t trust this guy.  I should be armed too.  I look at my hand and realize that I am armed.  A revolver.  I should probably check if it’s loaded.  It’s loaded.  But it’s loaded with five different caliber bullets.  Including a shotgun shell.  Even in my dream, I realize that this is probably not going to work.  I need another gun.  Luckily, this is a dream, so I immediately find another gun.  Now there are more people in the shelter and I’m not sure where they all came from.  I decide that we need food, so we look around and find some.  Somebody mentions Rice Krispy treats, which makes me very happy because they are awesome.  Then I find a container that has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in it.  This is really disappointing, because I can’t stand peanut butter and jelly, and one of the sandwiches is moldy.  Whoever built this place didn’t put much thought into their food supplies.  At least there is water.  And then I wake up.  I have to say that upon waking, I am relieved to realize that I hadn’t cut anyone off while driving.  It really was a dangerous maneuver.

My personal interpretation of all of this?  I think we should make Rice Krispy treats today.

LINKS

• The crew at the Superbowl accidentally painted the Broncos logo on both ends of the field.  You Had ONE Job.
• Chris Pratt posted some pretty great motivation on his instagram page.  He’s a good dude.
• Some guy out west hid 2 million dollars in gold and made a big treasure hunt game out of it.  Now someone has disappeared while searching for it.
• “Body of woman, 2 live monkeys found in Florida hotel room”  I have nothing to add to this.

 

One day my oldest son told us that he really enjoyed being home.  “Because it’s my natural habitat.”  I love that kid.  He’s an old soul.  It was a funny comment, but it was a little more than that to me.

When was the last time you were at the zoo?  The zoo is a weird experience.  On the one hand, it is really cool to see all of those animals.  Rhinos, elephants, giraffes, lions.  On the other hand, is it just me, or do those animals look depressed?  I swear that the last time I was at the zoo, the elephant was muttering under his breath that he would give anything to be chased by a pride of lions.  Likewise, when I visited the lion enclosure, if you listened closely, you could hear him talking to himself about eating the toddler who wouldn’t stop banging on the glass.  Those animals really don’t belong there and I feel kind of bad for them.  Of course, there are exceptions.  When I visit the monkey house, I get the distinct impression that they think we are the ones in the zoo.  And the reptile house?  Well, there’s a reason that Lucifer took the form of a snake.

People have natural habitats too.  We all have places where we feel comfortable. Kanye West’s natural habitat is obviously the stage at an awards show.  No matter who is getting the award.  Jeb Bush’s natural habitat is 8th place in the Republican primary.  Eskimos belong in cold weather.  George Clooney’s natural habitat is in movies that tank at the box office. If you like to travel, I’m sure that there has been a time that you have visited a certain location and it just felt like home.  It’s hard to explain why.  I would like to suggest that when you get that feeling, it is because you have just encountered your natural habitat.  That happened to me, and I have been trying to get back there for some time now.  A lot of people are lucky enough to live in their natural habitats.  The rest of us are like this sloth.

The poor little guy had wandered onto the highway.  When he realized that he was in over his head he said, “Oh crap, I’m gonna find the thing that looks most like a tree trunk and hold on for dear life.”  I saw these pictures over the weekend and I was immediately struck by the similarities between us.  First of all, we are both adorable.  Second, at times, we both feel out of our natural habitat.  When those times arise, we both grab on to something that makes us feel better.  He grabs on to a guard rail and hangs on for all he’s worth.  I put on my flip flops and get in my hammock.  Luckily for the sloth, the police were there to help him back to safety.  Luckily for me, I have three people and a dog, and in the end, my natural habitat is wherever they are.  (Great, now the dog is going to get a big head because I included him in the pack.)

Longwalkabout will now be returning to it’s pre-holiday schedule of posting on Thursdays and Sundays.

New things coming this spring.

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I have survived the great blizzard of 2016.  The official stats say that there are 25.5 inches of snow in my backyard.  I have cleaned off the driveway (3 times), the deck (3 times), and some of the roof.  Time for random blizzard thoughts.

• On Friday Islands Magazine shared an article about the best snorkeling spots on the island of St. John.  This mockery was obviously aimed at me.  In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the only one who they shared the article with.  They said, “Hey everyone, blizzard coming, let’s remind Marc where he lives and that it’s not warm there.  (evil laugh)  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” To top it off, the snorkeling spots they listed were not the best.  St. John is my favorite place on earth.  I know the good spots.  Double mockery.  Well played Islands Magazine.  Well played.
• My dog loves the snow.  I wonder if he would be a good sled dog.  Maybe I could send him to sled dog academy.  That would be the dog equivalent of military school.  If he keeps staring at me while I eat, I just might do it.
• We told the kids that there would be no school on Monday.  My oldest responded.  “Yes,,,,,,. I’m going to go get a victory cookie.”  I had no idea that victory cookies were a thing.  I love it when I learn something new and useful.  Finished the laundry,,,,, time for a victory cookie.  Put the kids to bed,,,,,,,  time for a victory cookie.  Shoveled the driveway,,,,,,,, that’ll be three victory cookies.  Victory cookies.  Who knew?
• I didn’t win the Powerball lottery last week.  But on the off chance that I had won, I made plans.  It’s good to have plans.   First, I would have given money to every person who takes time to read this blog.  (tell your friends)  Then, I would have hired a top notch director and movie making crew so I could remake Romancing The Stone, starring my wife and I.  Third, I would have followed So You Think You Can Dance? to every audition city and tried to impress them with my dance style, which is best described as Axl Rose with Latin flair.
• The whole family was home for the blizzard.  I love it when my wife is home.  She’s good company.  I like to do nice things for her when she’s around.  I make her breakfast.  I cover her when she falls asleep on the couch.  I run a bath and light a candle,,,,,,,, and then I get in and relax while she watches the kids.
• I’m glad that the Broncos won the AFC championship, because I could not bear watching Tom Brady host Saturday Night Live again.
• At the end of the storm, I did the most sensible thing I could have done.  I booked a trip to Florida.

LINKS

• Abandoned tunnels in Washington D.C. are about to get reopened and turned into,,,, an art gallery?
• If you haven’t seen the panda playing in the snow yet, here it is.
• A list of films that have a perfect 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
• In the category of “Terrifying News”, a scientist claims to have transplanted a monkey head.

Time for a victory cookie.

Every holiday season, Philadelphia moves the homeless people out of Love Park and sets up a German Christmas Village.  From right after Thanksgiving to right after Christmas you can go spend exorbitant amounts of money for things, but feel good about it because of the charming atmosphere and giant Christmas tree.  We made a trip down there with the family this year.  It was not our first trip.  I remember our first trip very well.  All because of my youngest son.

He was three.  When I describe his personality to people I will usually say things like, “He’s,,,,,,, how do I say this?  He’s very passionate about things.”  You never know what he is going to be passionate about.  It could be lunch, or not taking a bath, or which toothbrush he believes is his.  On this day it was pretzels.  You might think, “How can you be passionate about pretzels?”  Hey, I’m with you on that.  Pretzels are nobody’s first choice when it comes to food.  You usually end up eating them by accident, or last resort.  “Man am I hungry.  What do they have to snack on?  Pretzels.  Ok,,,,, I guess.”  Or.  “What should I get at this snack bar?  A sandwich for 10 bucks or this soft pretzel for 1.50?  Well, I’m poor, so I’ll just drown the pretzel in a pint of this yellow mustard.”  At the Christmas village, they offered all types of expensive food,,,,,,, and giant Bavarian pretzels.  Yes, somehow we ended up with the giant pretzel, an admitted food failure on my part.  It was so big that it came in a medium size pizza box.  We showed the boys and told them that we were all going to split it.  This was unacceptable to my three year old.  He told us that he wanted his own.  We told him no.  And so commenced one of the great tantrums OF ALL TIME.  He ramped up to all out rage in no time at all.  The indignity of having to share a pretzel was something that he could not endure.  There we were behind some of the Christmas village shoppes.  Three year old alternately lying on the sidewalk (face-down) screaming, or being held by one embarrassed parent or the other, at which point he screamed louder.  Six year old eating the pretzel and watching the scene, obviously entertained.  Strangers walking by and trying to decide weather to ignore us or to call social services, because from all appearances, we had done something horrible to this child.  This went on for twenty, solid, agonizing minutes.  (My wife says it was more like forty five.  I say it felt like two hours.)  Then, just like that, he decided that his protest had been of appropriate legnth, and he calmly ate his part of our giant snack.

This year when we returned to this small slice of faux Bavaria in Center City, I took my now six year old to the very spot on the sidewalk where he had performed his passionate protest and explained what he had done there.  He thought it was hilarious.  Someday that passion will prove valuable to him.  I only hope that we can channel it into something worthwhile.  Like, I don’t know, building his own giant soft pretzel empire, so that he will never have to share one again.

LINKS

• Scientists are developing artificial intelligence.  Have they never watched movies,,,,, at all,,,,,, is it just me?
• There is a travel advisory out for the Caribbean.  Apparently mosquitos are now carrying something called the Zika virus.  All this means to me is that the beaches will be less crowded.
• This Star Wars Undercover Boss skit from SNL is funny.  Unless you’re one of those strange people who’ve not seen Star Wars.  If you’re one of those people, please get some therapy, and maybe a blu-ray player, and stop watching documentaries.   Live a little.
• A 71 year old Siberian woman who has lived as a hermit her whole life recently had to be airlifted to the hospital.  While at the hospital she binge watched every season of the Bachelor.  Or maybe not.

Has anyone ever said something like this to you?  “You know, English is a very difficult language.”

We’ve all heard that.  My usual response is, “Dude, you were born here.  We went to grade school together.  Seriously?  You spend one semester abroad and now you’re struggling?”

To be fair, we do like to increase the difficulty level more than other languages do.  One of the ways that we do this is with figures of speech.  I’ll leave grammar instruction to the experts, but I thought that I would put together a guide that would help explain the origin and meaning of some commonly used figures of speech.  I’m here to help.

• Hold Your Horses–  This saying can be traced back to the old west and specifically a cowboy named Jerry.  Jerry owned two horses that were extremely emotionally needy.  He was always leaving card games at the local saloon early to go tend to his animals.  After a while Jerry’s buddies grew tired of this.  Whenever Jerry bailed early, his friends said, “Whatever man, do what you have to do, go hold your horses.”  Now you know.  The next time you are at a party and that guy who is always the first to leave goes to get his coat, just smirk and say, “Go hold your horses man.”
• Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch–  We have plenty of figures of speech about chickens for some reason.  This one comes from the days when most everyone owned chickens.  If you lived in a neighborhood, it was good advice to not count your eggs early.  You didn’t do this because some were likely to get stolen.  It was a way of avoiding aggravation.  If on Monday you had 13 eggs, and on Wednesday you ended up with 11 chickens, it was better not knowing that your neighbor stole 2 eggs.  If you realized that he was stealing eggs, then you were likely to engage in another American tradition.  The Feud.  Your respective families would war until they lost track of why, and then there would be some kind of unapproved tragic love affair between your descendants.  All of this was avoided by the willful ignorance of not counting chickens.  In modern times the phrase is used this way.  Neighbor: “I’m expecting four packages today, can you keep and eye out for them?”  You: “Tony, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
• Go The Extra Mile–  This phrase comes from the time when automobiles were becoming very popular.  People were driving everywhere, venturing further and further away from their homes.  Since people were now venturing into unfamiliar territory, they were always getting lost.  Husbands were driving and wives were in the passenger seat going, “Frank.  Frank.  Frank.  Are you listening to me?  You don’t know where we are, do you?  I told you we should have stopped to ask directions, but nooooo, you wanted to go the extra mile.”
• A Fox In The Henhouse–  Another chicken metaphor.  The exact place of origin for this one is unknown.  The meaning, however, is fairly obvious.  It refers to a lady that you find particularly attractive that lives in a house with a number of other ladies that you you don’t find all that attractive.  Example:  “Hey dude, have you met Julie and her sisters.  She’s the fox in that henhouse, huh.”

LINKS

• On this day in 1985 Sir Clive Sinclair debuted the Sinclair C5.  It was a personal, electric vehicle.  Here’s the commercial.
• Some shipwrecks from the the Great Whaling Disaster of 1871 were just found off of the coast of Alaska.
• The drug lord, El Chapo, was just recaptured, but not before he was interviewed by everyones favorite nutty actor, Sean Penn.
• Panasonic has just introduced a TV that has a “transparent” mode.

Happy New Year.  All evidence points to 2016 being a year full of totally ridiculous events.  I have compiled a list of things to do, eat, listen to, or watch that will help you survive a year of presidential politics, 23 new Marvel movies, Ben Affleck as Batman, and an NFL in decline.  Sit back, enjoy, and then put reading this blog regularly on your list of resolutions.

1. It is the 100th anniversary of the National Park Service.  Get outside and enjoy one of the few things that the government does pretty well.
2. Save up some money because most of the founding members of Guns N Roses are getting back together for a tour.  They may not be the “most dangerous band in the world” anymore, but I’ve seen Axl lately and he can still sing.  Thanks to the Rolling Stones, they also are not “the band most in danger of breaking a hip” so instead of going to see two or three mediocre bands, just go see GNR.
3. The lines at Chipotle are short right now.  Have a burrito.  “But what about the E-Coli?”  Stop.  I guarantee you that the local Chipotle has never been cleaner than it is right now.  It’s like skydiving.  When’s the best time to go?  Right after they’ve had an accident.
4. Halestorm’s cover of Hunger Strike will make you smile.  Eddie Vedder and Bob Dylan have one thing in common.  All of their songs are better when they are performed by people who are not them.
5. Trader Joe’s Kona Coffee Truffles.
6. I recommend binge watching White Collar on Netflix.  It’s a heist show with style and super likable characters.
7. Take a surfing lesson.  Better yet.  Track down a copy of Endless Summer 2, watch it, and then take a surfing lesson.  Then you can wear out your friends by telling them over and over again about the first time you stood up on a wave.  Also, you can start calling your boss dude or brah, and tell him to stop harshing your mellow.
8. Find out which food truck near you has the best falafel wrap and then eat there at least twice a month.
9. Get a Groupon for a local paintball place.  If you are a parent, take your kids.  If you aren’t a parent, don’t worry, there will be a lot of other people’s kids there for you to shoot at.  It’s therapeutic.
10. Save 5 dollars a week.  Halfway through the year that should add up to 130 dollars.  Blow it.  Spend it on something completely frivolous.  Like, I don’t know.  Maybe go to a movie and get the LARGE popcorn.
11. Buy a brand new pillow.
12. It’s going to be an exhausting political year.  Whenever someone asks who you are voting for, answer them each time with the name of a different 70’s tv star.  When they tell you that they don’t know who that is, tell them that he or she is representing some obscure political party that has something to do with the show that they starred in.  Example:  “I’m voting for Lee Majors, he’s representing the Scientific Information Party.  He has a great personal story about overcoming injuries resulting from a spaceship crash.  I can’t understand why he isn’t doing better in the polls.”  Then walk away.  Just walk away.
13. Visit a botanical garden.
14. Watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Then call out of work and go to a baseball game.  Extra points if you identify yourself to the usher as the “sausage king of Chicago.”
15. Find a deserving charity that you can donate time or money to.
16. Buy a pair of Reef flip flops and rock them everywhere.  If someone asks why you’re wearing them in a business meeting, just look them straight in the eye and say they were doctor prescribed.  It’s all about confidence.

Here’s to a great 2016.

LINKS

• Yet another reason to be grossed out by hotels.
• On to other gross things.  Here are the “germiest” travel destinations in the world.
• These twins born over New Years are gonna get really tired of explaining their birthdays to people.
• This pilot is a good dude.

Christmas has come and gone.  Gifts have been opened.  The children have all crashed down off of their sugar highs.  Christmas empanadas have been eaten.  And, we’ve made our pilgrimage to the local theater to see the new Star Wars, which, by the way, is really good.  All that is left is the alcoholic’s holiday (New Years Eve), which is no fun for me.  I’ll be asleep by ten.  Now it’s time to sit and reflect upon the week that was.

• I got the one thing that I wanted for Christmas.  And I am happy to report that the new Point Break tanked at the box office.
  

  Merry Christmas to me.

• There were a lot of previews before the new Star Wars movie.  I would just like to warn everyone that there will be a glut of overly dramatic superhero movies coming out in the near future.  I looks like the plot of most of them involves people with awesome powers feuding like high school girls.  Superheroes are huge whiners.  Except for Antman.  Me and Antman are tight.
• I have reached the age where I don’t really have a Christmas list.  I like to be surprised.  I do realize that this makes things hard for Santa, because he has to put thought into what he’s going to bring me, instead of me going to the mall, sitting on his lap, and telling him exactly what to get.  But look, last year when I showed up to give you my list, the elves treated me really rudely and tried to charge me thirty five dollars.  But,,,,  if Santa happens to be taking some time off, surfing the internet, and he runs across this blog.,,,..  ..  A set of counterfeit documents would be a really cool gift.  Or maybe an honorary doctorate.
• Since we were hosting Christmas for the family this year, we decided to get a real Christmas tree.  We trekked out to the tree farm with the boys and told them that it was their job to pick our tree.  My six year old chose to spend his time hiding from us in the rows of trees.  Meanwhile, my ten year old picked out the most Charlie Brown looking tree he could find.  We suggested others, but my sweet-hearted boy had made his decision.  He felt bad for that tree and was worried that no one else would take it home.  We brought it home.  And it was perfect.  He was so proud.
• The list of people you are supposed to tip at Christmas seems to have gotten longer.  Garbage man, mail man, bus driver.  I’m okay with those, but I will not be adding anyone else.  I had to put it out there because I feel like some people have been eyeing me up.  My favorite cashier at Target.  Our local librarian.  The guy on the Stairmaster at the gym who always winks at me.  That lady who held the door for me at Wawa the other day.  Nice try people, but I’m all tapped out.
• Oh, just in case you didn’t know.  Santa hates net lights.

LINKS

• Oscar time will be here before we know it.  While everyone else prepares to decide what the best movie of the year was, let’s take a look at the Rotten Tomatoes Summer Movie Scorecard.
• Sorry.  One more Point Break link.  Lori Petty, from the original film, has some fairly strong feelings about the remake.
• This Christmas light display is pretty great.
• A guy walked off of a cliff because he was looking at his cell phone.

You know how sometimes you hear a certain song and it takes you directly to a past place and time?  Like how every time you hear the Mexican Hat Dance, it takes you to that time you got food poisoning at Taco Bell.  Well, this is the second half of my top ten list of songs that take me to a specific moment.  Here we go.

5.  Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row-  Many years ago I went to see Sebastian Bach (former lead singer of Skid Row) at the Birch Hill Night Club in New Jersey.  During the show, a short older guy, who was very excited to be there, kept telling me and my friend that it was going to be out of control when Sebastian performed Youth Gone Wild.   “You just wait, it’s gonna be crazy in here.  Everybody’s gonna go nuts.  You wait and see.”  I waited.  I was disappointed.  I loved the show, but I’ve seen places get crazier when candy was handed out to kids.

4.  No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley-  When my first son was little, we took a lot of long car trips.  My wife would sit in the backseat with him, and if he got upset, we would sing that song to him inserting his name instead of ‘woman.’  For the longest time he thought that the song was actually written about him.

3.  Sirius (also known as the Chicago Bulls theme) by Alan Parson-  Our high school basketball coach was a huge Bulls fan during their championship runs in the Jordan era.  The one year that I was on the team, he would recreate the whole Bulls intro thing with the spotlight and the theme song before every game we played.  It was over the top and embarrassing.  Unless you were Michael Jordan.  Unfortunately none of us were.  I consider myself more of a Shawn Bradley, with less height, talent, and desire to play basketball.

2.  Dust In The Wind by Kansas-  We had karaoke at one of our high school banquets.  One of my friends and I decided that we should do a song.  We chose Dust In The Wind.  What followed crushed any dreams of being a rock star that I may have ever entertained.  It was an excruciating three minutes and twenty seconds.  I’m pretty sure the guy operating the karaoke machine considered turning it off and escorting us off of the stage.  He probably called all of his other karaoke machine operator friends and warned them about us.  Flyers with our faces have likely been circulated throughout the karaoke community.

1.  Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver-  Whenever we cross the state line into West Virginia, we play this song and sing along.  So it literally takes me home.

LINKS

• Today is the anniversary of the first time that the Flying Tigers saw combat action.
• CNN’s Year in photos from around the world.
• Can you eat expired food?  Find out here.
• Seven things you can do in order to have a better vacation.

My sister is now a Dr.  A Dr. of literature, so if you meet her, she will not be able to diagnose that weird rash that you can’t get rid of.  Not that this should stop you from asking her to take a look at it, just for my amusement.  Her graduation was this past Thursday.  My wife and I had decided that I should go out to celebrate with her.  Then we decided that it should be a surprise.  Here’s my 4,300 mile 41 hour adventure.  (All times are local.  I knew you’d want to know)

Thursday

5:50 AM-  Depart LaGuardia airport NYC.  I spend the half of the flight sleeping, and half of the flight wondering if I had awkwardly leaned on my seat mate while I was sleeping.

8:45 AM-  Arrive in Houston.  I wander the airport trying to look like I know where I’m going.  Eventually I find my gate.

9:20 AM-  Depart Houston.

10:40 AM-  Arrive in Albuquerque.

2:00 PM-  I had made prior arrangements with my brother-in-law for them to pick me up while I posed as a hitchhiker.  He pulls over and I hop in the passenger seat, completely surprising my unsuspecting sister, who was riding in the backseat with her two year old son.

2:15 PM-  We all enjoy Mexican food at Sadie’s.

5:15 PM-  We arrive at the PIT, where my sister will celebrate her awesome accomplishment.  For those of you who don’t know sports, the PIT is the basketball arena at the University of New Mexico.  In 2014, a travesty of corporate renaming dubbed the PIT, Wise Pies Arena, aka The Pit.  Thanks for ruining another stadium/arena name corporate America.

6:15 PM:  The esteemed faculty march in, wearing their robes and poofy hats.  It seems to me that they are all in a competition to see who can look the most like a medieval poet.  The head of the math department wins.

6:45 PM:  My sister receives her degree.  Yay.  I capture the momentous occasion in a series of fuzzy photographs.

7:00 PM:  I have the following conversation with my nephew.

“Tio,,,,,, Tio”

“Yes”

“Tio”

“Yes”

“Tio”

“What”

“Tio”

“Yes”

“Tio”

“Yes”

“,,,,,,,,,,UP”

7:30 PM-  The graduation ends and we take pictures.  My nephew continues to insist that he be allowed to ride the elevator when he gets back to the hotel.

8:15 PM-  They drop me off at my hotel.  We take some more pictures.  I assure my nephew that he will get to ride the elevator.

9:15 PM-  I’m out.

Friday.

6:00 AM-  I’m up because, hey, it’s 8:00 at home.

6:45 AM-  Free breakfast buffet.  The whole reason I chose this hotel.  Biscuits, waffles, hash browns, eggs, coffee, fruit, salsa.  Yes.  More please.  Those hash browns aren’t great, but they’re free.  I think I will have just one more helping.  Everyone in the place is polite and properly attired.  What do I mean by that?  Well, I was once at a hotel breakfast in Kentucky, where a family arrived in the breakfast room,,,,,,, none of them wearing shoes.

11:30 AM-  Depart Albuqerque airport.

2:38 PM-  Arrive in Houston.

3:00 PM to 4:00 PM-  Wander the airport trying to decide what to eat.

4:15 PM-  Decide to have pizza.

4:45 PM-  I am disappointed in my food choice.

5:45 PM-  Depart Houston.

10:17 PM-  Arrive at LaGuardia.

I would like to thank my wife for encouraging me to go on this trip.  Unless you are an insufferable overachiever, you only get one PhD graduation.  We are very proud of my sister and I’m very happy I was able to celebrate with her.

LINKS

• It’s the 35th anniversary of Magnum PI.
• It is also Ted Nugent’s birthday.  Here’s the Rolling Stone bio of the world’s only sober rock star.
• Really interesting story about a guy who jumped off of the Golden Gate bridge and lived to tell about it.
• Last but not least.  This little girl’s family was killed in a fire, and she was severely burned.  All she wants for Christmas is cards.  Make an extra trip to Hallmark.

 

Music is really subjective.  My top ten songs would probably be totally different from your top ten.  But this music list has nothing to do with how good the songs actually are.  This list is all about where the songs take me when I hear them.

Example:  Any time I hear a Coldplay song, it takes me back to a fantastic nap that I took in 2002.

Everyone has songs that for some reason or other are tied to specific moments in their life.  These are my top ten.  (part one)

10.  Paradise City by Guns N Roses-  In 2012 I went to see the reconstituted G N R at a club in New York.  They came on stage late, as usual, but they put on a fantastic show.  Axl at 50 can still belt it out.  They closed the almost three hour long set with Paradise City.  Confetti cannons went off and Axl threw the microphone into the crowd.  It flew directly over my head, just out of my reach.  I turned around to try to find it, only to see two or three guys rolling around on the wet club floor, apparently fighting over it.  I realized that my OCD would never permit me to get anywhere near whatever liquid was on that floor after a nearly four and a half hour show (including the opener).  In fact, I was a little upset that I was even standing in it.  This song takes me to that moment.

9.    Top Gun Anthem–  A month or two ago, my six year old was doing interpretive dance to this song in his tighty whities.  I will never again hear it without thinking of that.

8.    Riders On The Storm by The Doors-  A Burger King parking lot in western Maryland.  I sat there in my 1988 Honda Accord, which was filled with most of my earthly possessions, eating a BK veggie burger.  It was raining,,,  I think.  I was there to check out Frostburg State University.  I went on to spend one semester of my illustrious academic career at the home of the Bobcats.  I was on the dean’s list.  And I made absolutely no friends, because of my Stranger Danger List.

7.     Anything by Marc Anthony–  Okay, this should just be latin music in general, but I had to narrow it down.  This Thanksgiving eve, my wife and her best friend were listening to latin music, rather loudly, while preparing food for the next day.  In the next room, I was watching a hockey game.  I have now decided that hockey should always be watched this way.  Turn the commentary down, and put on some salsa music.  It takes your brain a whole period to get used to it, but when you watch a guy with a name like Sergei Plotnikov celebrate a goal to Vivir Mi Vida, you’ll see how awesome it is.

6.     Seein’ Red by Unwritten Law-  The Pizza Hut kitchen in Clementon, New Jersey was a rocking place.  If you’ve never delivered pizza, your life experience isn’t complete.

LINKS

• This lady is the bride of the year.  Perhaps the decade.
• A Spanish galleon containing an unreal amount of treasure has supposedly been found off the coast of Columbia.
• The new Point Break comes out in theaters on Christmas day.  Instead of going to see it.  Watch the old one.  I guarantee it’s better.  Here’s the original trailer.
• USA Today’s list of the the best German Christmas markets in the US.